Karl Pilkington Quotes

Quotes by and about Karl Pilkington

(Continued from his main entry on the site.)

Pilkington: "I don't like it when people organize stuff [in advance]. 'Come around on Thursday! Come around and have a drink and a chat.' [But] I don't know how I'll feel on Thursday. ... I always get emails from people, 'Are you coming out next week?' I don't know! ... I don't like [planning things]."

Pilkington: "I've always gotten jobs by people who I know rather than saying, right, it's a proper job interview. 'Are you the right man for the job?' I've never had that. Because I wouldn't get it."

Pilkington: "Chatting up women ... is not so complicated for animals. I've heard male pandas attract the female by showing off how high they can piss up a bamboo shoot!"

Pilkington: "People who live in glass houses... have to answer the door."

[On the Golden Globe Awards:]
Pilkington: "I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs."

Pilkington: "Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that."

Pilkington: "I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it."

Pilkington: "I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest."

Pilkington: "I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering about 'why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when [my girlfriend] booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote."

Pilkington: "I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan."

Ricky Gervais: "Karl never [intentionally] offends people, he just says what he's thinking. It's up those people if they are offended or not. Karl's the least pretentious person on the planet. There's no agenda."